Step #3 Give Yourself Objectivity

Step #3 - Creating a plan helps remove some of the emotion attachment and allows you to look at your choices with a more objective perspective.  Proceed by realistically, and objectively looking at your list to discern the likelihood that you can fit everything into the upcoming time period.  Use the following numbering system to begin the process of planning and scheduling.

Review your list from yesterday, considering each item carefully.  Use the following guidelines to help prioritize.  This process may take some time.  Be thoughtful with your choices.

1. Put a 1 next to items that are important specifically to you. (and only you) 
2. Put a 2 next to things you do because your kids, husband, friend expects it of you. 
3. Put a 3 next to things you do purely out of habit,  because it’s the way you’ve always done it, or the way your parents/family always did it.

Congratulations!  You are that much closer to freeing yourself from chronic Holiday Stress-itis.

What is That Chatter in My Head?

While walking this morning, mindlessly pondering my contribution to a collaborative book to be released in 2012, I realized there was chatter going on in my head of a negative nature.  I find myself frequently marveling at the collection of contributing women co-authors that surround me and their fascinating life stories of bravery, strength and perseverance. I am so inspired by them, I am frequently left thinking they should be forced to wear Wonder Woman costumes, complete with cape, as their everyday attire.  And, then there is me...My story is sooo boring compared to theirs. At least that is what ‘Nasty Nancy’, who resides in my head, is telling me. ‘Who’s going to want to read your story?’ she whines.  ‘It’s so dull.’  Well, shoot!

Wasn’t it me, just 14 days ago, that wrote a blog about how fabulous women are...and how they don’t respect their own wonderfulness? Didn’t I say that it was unbelievable that these exciting women in my speaking club, who shared their life stories of overcoming addiction, mothering 6 children, starting a new business, and moving to a new country, considered themselves uninteresting, and thought they had nothing of value to share?  Yet, here I was, in my mind, doing the same thing.  Well, shoot...again!

Part of correcting your perceptions of yourself, and the negative chatter that is going on in your head, is being aware of the noise.  Much like a mother immune to the nagging “Mom...Mom...Mom” of her persistent toddler waging a war for a forbidden toy, we get used to the litany of negative messages playing ‘Your not good enough’ in our own head.  It becomes background noise that we turn down, function around, and basically try to ignore.  It is only when we take the time to stop dead in our tracks and really listen to the message (regardless of how often we think we have heard it) that we can acknowledge it for the foolishness that it is.  

So, what did I do?  I took my own advice.  I stopped my walk. listened to the flawed message in my head, and said ‘Thank you for your opinion. BUT, I have to disagree with you.  I have done wonderful and interesting things.  I have a story that women will want to hear, not because I climbed great heights or crossed the desert with no water.  They will want to hear my story because I am a woman. And, women like stories about the lives of other women.  Just like I do.’

Step #2 Make a list to keep expectations in check.

Step 2  to Simplify Any Holiday

3 - 4 weeks before an upcoming holiday make a list of all the things (baking, shopping, preparations) you think need to be done.  Creating a list provides:

1) A visual accounting of your expectations of yourself
2) The opportunity to schedule activities in your calendar, preventing surprises and unexpected demands on time.
3) The opportunity to prioritize activities, and remove activities with a low priority when pressed for time

7 days to simplify any holiday...is it possible?  Stay tuned.

Step #1 To Simplify Any Holiday

Step 1 of 7 Tips to Simplify Any Holiday

Change requires a well thought out plan, broken down into manageable steps.  Start each holiday with the following:

1. Make a bold commitment to yourself that you are ready to create joyful, stress free holidays. Write 3 specific positive outcomes you desire, for example:

1. I will be satisfied with my efforts.
2. I will be calm throughout the preparation for this holiday
3. I will have time for everything on my to-do list.

Now, your turn.  Remember, setting your intention is the first step to making change.

Come back tomorrow for the much anticipated Step 2

A Holiday Tip of The Day Blog is Born

Hearing people's distress over the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Valentine's Day, is always upsetting to me.  Holidays are supposed to be joyous times filled with celebration, love, and fun. 

Kiss, My New Holiday Mantra

Every year, right around Thanksgiving we start talking about putting up our Christmas decorations and tree, a much anticipated, joyous event.  But last year, something was very different.  As my husband excitedly talked about getting out the holiday boxes I had an anxious, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, resembling something like dread. 

The Beautiful Voice of a Woman

Women amaze me.  Categorically, we are the champions when it comes to downplaying our intelligence, capabilities, and worth.  Plagued by the job title ‘Juggler Extraordinaire’, we take little credit for the many lives we hold in our hands, all to frequently saying “This is what everyone does.  It’s no big deal.”  But, it is a big deal. You are a big deal. 

Dear Dad....

I am shaking.  The final ‘Dear Dad’ letter has been drafted and sent.  I feel the fear of a child that something terrible is going to happen.  The adult in me knows that he holds no power over me.  But, still I shake.  I cannot help the visceral, psychological programming of my youth.  I am afraid.

Patience Leads To Self Discovery

Letters, letters, letters.  How many versions of my ‘Dear Dad’ letter have I written?  I think I’m up to 10, maybe more.  It is really interesting the role all of these letters have played.  I have written them while crying, while shouting to be free. I have written them in outrage and anger. I have written them from my perspective as a child, an adult, a daughter, the abused.  I have hand-written, typed, blogged, shared, posted, and mailed them to myself.  And with each telling, each outpouring, I have gained clarity, confidence and calm.  I have learned to trust my judgement, love myself, forgive, and forget. 

Growing Pains : My Continuing Journey

Growing Pains

It has been 8 weeks since I declared ‘enough’ in my mind. I thought I would feel freer, somehow. I admit, a unique sort of stillness has inhabited my heart and spirit, a soothing balm to my weary self. ‘Enough’ I said. ‘I will not be treated this way 1 more time.

To The Victor Go The Spoils

Extricating yourself from an abusive relationship is an amazingly empowering undertaking, provided it doesn’t suck the life out of you in the process.  It takes a tremendous amount of bravery, and tenacity to capture every inch of freedom.