There are always going to be ups and downs to life. I, for one, find I have a difficult time accepting that I have to deal with them, though. I spent so much of my past life on an overwhelming rollercoaster of emotions I feel it’s somehow unfair. I figure, I did ‘The Work’ I needed to do to get me to the place that I am, a place of contentment with myself at a very base level, a place of joy in being a woman, a place of finally defining the terms of a relationship with an abusive father. When I take the time to revel in this place of contentment I don’t want to feel anything but that...Content.
Consequently, when life throws something goopy at me I expect that somehow it will completely pass me by, leaving me unscathed. After all, I tell myself, I’ve done ‘The Work’. I have faced the uglies, cried the tears, healed the wounds and moved on. Therefore, when I wake up in a funk, or find myself leaving a meeting or gathering feeling deflated, or blue, insecure or inadequate for no apparent reason, I also feel angry!
Are these swings just the result of the The Menopause Merengue? Or is this what Life feels like, and is going to feel like from here on in? Does it matter? I think what matters most is that I accept this ride as the ride of my Life for now. I remember that I am good enough when that ugly voice starts yacking in my head. I go with the flow, letting go of my need to understand and control every moment of my existence. I need to just have that moment, that hour, that day that’s just kinda funky. Because, if I remind myself of all the lessons I’ve learned, all the progress that I’ve made, and all that I have accomplished a door always...always opens for growth.
What about you? Do you struggle with the normal ebb and flow but feel knocked down by it What do you do to get through it? What is the usual outcome?
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