What I See When I Look At You

It’s time.  I have watched from the side lines and waited for it to happen.  I see glimmers now and then, breakthrough moments, like the sunshine peeking through the clouds after a storm.  But, I want more. I want to feel the awakening, like the boom of the grand finale at the fireworks display on the 4th of July.  I want to feel the celebration as if John Phillip Susa is leading an elegantly clad marching band right through main street, trumpets blaring and cymbals crashing.  Just like the brightest beacon on the tallest lighthouse.  I want to see you shine.  Because, it’s time.

The Rude Awakening: June Cleaver’s Retirement Plan

Apparently, I’m a newborn to this whole Women’s Revolution thing. I continue to be totally unprepared for the extent to which I have followed the path of the age old ‘typical female’. I readily admit to being overwhelmed by the situation I currently find myself in. I’m angry with myself, and wish I could place blame on someone else's shoulders.  However, the reality is, I hold all the responsibility for my current mental state. I must own that I alone gave over my power and learn from the experience. 

The Power Woman Years

Rock climbing, snowboarding, long-boarding, road cycling.  It seems like no matter what activity I’m doing the majority of the women around me are at least 30 years younger than I am.  Limber, loose, lean and lithe they scramble, fly, glide and pedal with an ease and energy I can only dream of.  Yet, as I watch them going through the machinations of being 20 something I feel nothing but joy for the life I have grown into as a 54 year old, bodacious woman.

I am a Spirited Woman

I used to think I was just weird, a square peg in a round hole, an anomaly amongst my own gender.  As a young girl I liked to play hard, run fast, jump high and throw a ball as fast as the boys, activities that were frowned upon by the adults of the day.  I was always too loud, too rambunctious, and too outspoken to be successful as a girl.   I tried my hardest to make myself smaller... ‘less than’ what I was, desperately seeking to fit in, to get ‘It’ right. Now, as a ripe, bodacious woman in her mid 50’s I have come to value all those big traits as the essential me.  I let it all hang out!  I’m loud when I want to be, rambunctious when the spirit moves me.  I love hard core sports activities like snowboarding, bouldering, and my newest joy long boarding, all of which attract, almost exclusively, 18 - 30 year old young men, and I'm OK with that.  I AM a Spirited Woman, and I’m damn proud of it.

Outing The Emperor Of Irrational and Bad Behavior

I work with women everyday that believe the lies.  Shoot, I believed the lies.  I believed what I was told as a child, on the playground, in the classroom, at ballet class and at home.  We were told that we were too loud, too sensitive, too dumb, too ugly. We slowly accepted those lies as truths, even though our heart and our eyes told us otherwise.  We lost faith in our own inner compass, buying into this distorted fairytale reality.  Much like the child in the crowd, we could see that the Emperor was naked but believed the crowd that he must be wearing clothes.