No Need To Go It Alone

A very dear friend of mine recently told me that, after 2 weeks of waiting on pins and needles she found out she didn’t have cancer, or another equally devastating diagnosis. “I didn’t really tell anyone.” She confided. “I almost didn’t tell my husband.”


I was immediately catapulted back in time to 3 years ago when I had a scare with breast cancer. I did the same thing...didn’t tell anyone for fear of burdening them with something that might end up being nothing. I paced. I worried. I broke out in unexpected tears when the suspense became unbearable. 

Then, when I found out I was ok there was a weird sense of let-down. I had been on heightened alert, ‘Emergency!’ my inner voice had called out over and over again. ‘There is danger ahead. Regroup! Plan for safety! Be prepared!’ And, then nothing, as though the good news was almost a let down...All dressed up with no where to go.

In an effort to sort out all the pent up emotions I had stored away during my episode, my brilliant acupuncturist, Jack Daniel, suggested I write about my experience. I poured my heart into all that I had experienced, from the shock and terror of finding a lump in my breast, to the nausea I felt when I finally shared the news with my husband. The loneliness, and pain of keeping all my feelings in, believing as I did that no one would want to know.  I wrote about it all, and was finally at peace.

I ended up writing a letter to all my female friends and loved ones, including my detailed account, as well as encouraging them not to ‘go it alone.’

My friend's experience has once again reminded me to speak up. We are one community, there to share and support. We want to comfort our sisters, to offer solace and compassion. Many of us know the nervousness and fear you are going through and want to assure you, in any way we can, that no matter what you are going through we will be there for you. You can cry on our shoulder. You can share your fear. You can lessen your load. We will make it through, together.

So please...if you find a lump, a bump, have unexpected pain...please, please find at least one friend to share your feelings with. If you don’t have someone, call me (410-381-5777). I know what it feels like. If I had it to do over again, I would not go it alone.