If You Were A Ball Of Clay

We start out in life like a ball of clay, ready to be shaped into something.  And, not just any old thing.  But, something fabulous.  And then, the forces of life, of nature, and especially other human beings push and pull us this way and that, like a new batch of salt water taffy.

We look for our parents approval, so we modify our behavior hoping to gain an extra hug or to avoid a harsh word.  We really want to fit in at school, with our peers, so we stop expressing our likes and dreams, hoping we’ll be accepted.  (And, wouldn’t it be just the best if we could hang with ‘the cool kids’? )

And so, we rub off all the edges that make us unique, that make us special, that actually identify us as who we are, in the hopes that we will become a person that others will approve of, and like.  

Occasionally, we get what we were after, our original goal.  We are allowed to hang with the cool kids, or any kids.  Our parents smile at us more, chastise us less.  But, we have lost a valuable piece of ourselves in the process.

By the pure effort of trying to shape ourselves to meet someone else’s approval we have given up a part of our heart, an integral part of our very being.  We have said to ourselves “this part of me is disposable because someone else doesn’t like it.”  

But, what about us?  Do we like that part of ourselves?  We have become the Wizard of Oz telling all we come in contact with “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”.  But, he’s still there.

What is the outcome of this charade?  We appear less confident, because we are hiding concrete parts of ourselves.  We are now playing the shell game, “which part of my me is ok to expose in this particular situation?  Do I hide this?  Show that?”

In the end, we create a person that people don’t like because they can’t tell who we are.  We’re all smoothed down.  There aren’t enough distinguishing features for ‘them’ to relate to or identify with.  The end result, born of survival as a child, does not serve us well as an adult.  

It’s time to go back to the artist’s table.  Be brave enough to search your heart for all those scraped off globs, notches and grooves and start sticking them back on.  When you stand tall and proud as the nubby, bumpy lump of clay you came in as your beauty, character, and ability will shine.  

If you like yourself, you are one of the ‘cool kids’.  And, as we all know, everyone wants to hang with the cool kids!