Red flags, the mental type, are funny things. Opportunities cross our path, dangled in front of us like the proverbial carrot before the rabbit. And, if we’re hungry enough we take off running, blinded by a free, sweet treat. In retrospect, that’s how I feel about my recent interview by a local newspaper reporter. I was so caught up in the excitement of promoting my newly started, public speaking club that I didn’t pay attention to the little red flags waving in my brain, calling out, ‘Something’s not right here. She’s talking over your answers.’
A long story short...the article was published and the reporter got every single fact wrong, from the age range of participants, to the purpose of my club. I could tell she wasn’t really listening. Having been assigned the interview by her editor, I could actually feel her apathy right through the phone. But, I plowed on like a crow after a shiny bauble, so pleased was I to get the free press.
This is not the first, or only time, I haven’t listened to that Voice...the one of intellect, reason and purpose. The Voice is so much smarter than I am. It’s always right, rarely flinches and never, never strays from my true purpose. I’m getting better at listening. I really am. It speaks to me when I am not honoring myself, or when I'm being disrespected by others. It says ‘Um, excuse me! You were just dis’ed in a major way. Now would be a good time to speak up for yourself.’ When I am brave, and confident in myself I am not only able to hear the wise counsel of The Voice, I am able to heed the advice and speak up.
There are other days, other times, other people where I am smaller. Less me, unsure whether I’m good enough, whether I really matter or have a right to my opinion. At those times, I shy away from The Voice, pretending I don’t hear it or don’t understand. I act like the message wasn’t for me, as thought whoever is behind The Voice didn’t really understand the situation. What a joke! Do I think the Wizard of Oz lives in my head and I can say ‘Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.’ ? Why do I try to trick myself like that? When will I acknowledge that The Voice is me?
Like a 2 year old at nap time, I pretend I don’t hear because listening and honoring The Voice is hard and unpleasant. It’s scary and takes great courage, even at times when I am just speaking up about what topping I want on my pizza. It’s easier to go after the pretty bauble, take the easy way out by not speaking up, hoping all will come out the way I want it to, all the while knowing that I haven’t been true to myself. I haven’t paid attention to the red flags. I am choosing... CHOOSING not to be represented because I don’t listen to The Voice that is me.
The path of least resistance is always going to appear to be the easiest way to proceed. But, at what price? If I am just going with the flow all the time, in actuality I am being sucked through life, a unmanned boat on a current, being tumbled and tossed about, rarely knowing up from down, and never being anchored to the shore.
I’m going to listen to The Voice more. I mean it, I am! Even if it’s little things like toppings and interviews. I don’t have to act on the ‘advice’. But, I do need to honor the wisdom that is being imparted, contemplate it’s value, recognize the ramifications of remaining quiet and honor the choice that I make. I will be a stronger, happier person for it. Because then, unlike the boat being sucked along, the mindless crow chasing the ‘sparkly’ or a woman blindly going through an interview, I will be proceeding with eyes wide open, options explored and acknowledged, and my inner compass consulted and duly respected. I will be choosing the course that is best for me even if the choice is to remain quiet.
When do you find it the most difficult to listen to 'The Voice'? Do you have a mental trick that helps you speak up? I would love to know how you cope with these situations. Please feel free to comment.
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