It’s Time to Celebrate Me

As women, we feel we have to be accessible to our loved ones 24/7.  Like a minuteman of the American Revolution, we are poised and ready to fix, find, take, make, or do whatever is needed to resolve any crisis, big or small. 
‘Mom, where are my pants?’  ‘Honey, can you fix this button?’  ‘I need this, now?’  ‘ I forgot to tell you, I have to be there by 2.’

We’re pushed and pulled like taffy on a table.  Stretch, fold, then turn and repeat.

At what point do we say  ‘No!’ ?  ‘My needs must be met, too.  My time is of value, and so am I.’ ‘ It’s my turn to have this found, that fixed, a favorite meal, and a big surprise.’  I am not selfish for wanting this.  I am human.  And, I have needs, too.

Some of us are smarter than others, having learned balance and boundaries at a very young age.

Others may allow themselves Mother’s Day, if there are children involved.  I didn’t have the skills necessary to carry off either of these.  I gave my family  ‘a pass’ even on Mother’s Day and my birthday.  I didn’t want them to be inconvenienced or to go to any trouble. I didn’t want them to spend their valuable money on me, when it could be better spent on themselves.

What a goof I was!  I really missed the whole point.  Now that I have blossomed into a bodacious, bold woman I demand that they treat me like a queen (or maybe a minor princess, or a lady -in-waiting...what do you want?  I’m new at this).  But, more important, I demand to be treated like a queen by me.  I Am royalty to this family.  I protected them, and their ‘land’ like any good sovereign should.  I saw that their lives were full, rewarding and safe.  I created Super Kid Day, celebrated half birthdays, and invented Sundae Sunday - a holiday in July with a gaudy tree, small gifts, and ice cream as the only dish for dinner.

I did it all for them so that they would feel honored, acknowledged and ever sooo special.  I created a childhood filled with demonstrations of how fantastically important they were to me.  And, I’d do it all again, in a heartbeat, if I could.  I taught them that they were loved and respected, not because of the gifts ( because there were never very many) but through my thoughts, words and deeds.

What I forgot to teach them, because I didn’t feel worthy, is that I am important, too.  I failed to provide them with the most basic fundamentals of honoring an individual. The value of self love and self worth.  I rarely demonstrated that my needs were important, or demanded that I be put first.  I never said  ‘I have to be here.’  ‘I need to go now.’ ‘ I’ll help you when I’m done.’  I failed to show them that if you can’t love and honor yourself, all the gifts and cake in the world just becomes stuff.

I realize now that I deserve to have a day in honor of my devotion and valuable years of service.  I deserve to carve out special time just for me, that includes bubble bathes, candlelight, a juicy book and chocolate cake.  I can put myself first every now and then because it’s healthy and right for all concerned.  

I don’t have to wait for Mother’s Day, or my birthday.  I can celebrate ME every damn day of my life.  I can love myself this morning, at lunch, and twice before bed!  I can honor my beauty, creativity, sensitivity, and kind heart.

No one will know how special I am, until I show them by honoring myself.  I am my biggest fan.  And, that’s as it should be.  In fact, I’m feeling a party coming on, right now.   It must be time to celebrate me, again.