What Would You Want From The Wizard of OZ?

I was recently asked the question “If you were with Dorothy and her gang, what would you want from the Wizard of OZ?”  My immediate thought was, to be ‘normal’.  To be just like everybody else.  But, this is knee jerk response, the wish I have been making for most of my life

I’m smarter now than I was before.  I realize there is no such thing as normal.  Everyone is just going through life being who and what they are, living their life’s story, a chapter at a time.  I now realize it is not in my nature to be quiet and reserved.  Nor, will I be a follower.  For those are the gifts others were given to live the life they were called to lead.  

I am what I have always been, sensitive, exuberant, unrestrained, and, a little loud (ok...maybe more than a little loud).  I am a non-conformist and a leader.  I accept and embrace these qualities, as they are an integral part of who I am.  I am all of these things, as I always have been.  I no longer want to be anything else.

My request to be ‘normal’ has served me well.  With that request I was granted insight into who I am, and what I am not. Those lessons have been learned.  

But, the journey, as a whole, is not yet over. I have not yet reached the Promise Land, or Kansas, depending on who’s story you are reading.  And, quite frankly, I think it’s always helpful to ask...right now... ‘What would I want from the Wizard of Oz?’

Today, I want to be a better human being.  I want to be more conscious of my actions and how they affect others.  I want to proceed through life with kindness, acceptance and grace.  And, right now, in this immediate moment of time, I want clarity.  I have been patient.  I have been mindful.  For four, very long years I have listened to my inner soul and tried to be open to all things, tried to be the passenger, along for the ride, instead of the captain steering the ship (which totally goes against my nature, because I am a leader.  And, leaders lead!).

The journey has been painfully slow.  And, I am not a patient person, especially with myself.  I have slimed along, like the slowest slug, moving in a new direction.  And, with each new opportunity and experience, I have learned to let go of the control I so dearly coveted and nurtured in the past.

But, I’m tired.  I am so very weary.  I am ready for it to be easier...whatever the hell ‘it’ is.  I am as chil-laxed as I have ever been. Waiting, listening. Yet, it just feels as though there is nothing there.  I don’t feel anything out there. I don’t sense anything out there.  I am not afraid of what is to come.  I am just so very tired of calling out ‘What’s next?’  ‘Where am I supposed to be going?’  ‘What am I supposed to be doing?’  And hearing nothing.  Nothing, in response. 

Oh, Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz I know that just like Dorothy, the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion, what I seek most is already within me.  It’s always been there, waiting for me to acknowledge and accept.  I’m clicking my heals. I’m saying the words.  I conquered the witch, and outlived those creepy monkey things.  I’ve proved my mettle.  So please Wiz, I’m begging you, from the bottom of my heart. Could you please show me what ‘it’ is just a wee bit faster? ‘Cause I’m in a hurry to get on with my life.