I love reading something, or hearing something that brings you up short and makes you question, rethink, or challenge a basic belief. I just started reading a book encouraging women to claim their power in society called ‘No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power’ when this exact phenomenon occurred. In this particular instance, I was immediately offended. To paraphrase, the author, Gloria Feldt, stated that if, as women, we choose to be stay-at-home mom’s we are not supporting the plight of women to achieve job equality and stature, or power.
What!!? I consider myself to have been a stay-at-home mom, having worked only part time hours off and on. But, predominantly, I stayed at home with my kids...because I chose to do so. It was the way I felt I best served society, and my children. At the same time, I am a vocal advocate of women’s equality, and women’s right. I am not a crusader, I just support a woman’s right to work, her right to have equal pay, her right to stay home, and a general right to be respected as valued members of society.
Whenever one of these paradigm shifts occurs I seek the counsel of 1 of the 2 guru’s in my family, my husband or my son, a political philosophy and eastern philosophy major respectively. “What is the meaning of this, oh Guru?” I ask. After which, I wait to be enlightened.
In this case I asked my husband. ‘Is this possible?’, I queried. ‘Is there an economic or societal model that I am not taking into consideration that validates this statement?’ There was, as it turns out good news, bad news, and (my favorite...) new news.
Let’s get the bad news out of the way first. From a purely socio-economic model, if there are only 1000 women in the country and half of them choose to stay home, that eliminates them from the work force. Such a low representation means that there are less women to temper the male dominated work place and less women to be a shining example of the amazing capabilities of women. Finally, it means that there are less women to be promoted to the level of senior management/CEO status.
The good news. My husband has seen tremendous growth in the number of women now in senior management positions where he works, a huge company of 1000’s. Twenty-five years ago he could count the number of women in upper management on 1 hand...maybe even on 2 fingers. Now there are hundreds. If this company is in anyway representative of the progress being made across the board, I’d say this is amazing progress in only 25 years time.
All that being said, here’s where I see a flaw in Ms. Feldt’s argument, and it stems from my own work, and mission. Even with my stay-at-home mom status I have always worked with women, encouraging and empowering them to speak up for themselves, see themselves as equals, and stretch their boundaries. I am currently hosting a women’s public speaking club that provides tools to build confidence and courage in women when using their voice. How am I hurting the feminine cause to gain prominence and power in the workplace?
I believe that by empowering women, regardless of where they choose to spend their day, you will create more powerful women, women that demand to be heard, demand to be taken seriously, demand equal pay. By helping women step into their power I am a part of a grassroots movement supplying women with tools, words, and courage to rise up and claim their place, to re-write how things are done and forge a new world, a more equal world where we all have a choice, and we all get our say.
Here’s the new news, and the best news. Sometimes, we are so busy seeing a problem from only one perspective we can’t imagine there is a whole different view, a completely different approach that doesn’t even resemble the current model. A paradigm shift where everything is changed. Much like thinking that houses can only be built with wood, and if we cut down all the forests we will be out of houses, I believe, in this instance, Ms. Feldt has not even considered that houses could be made out of brick, or stone, or maybe even dug out underground.
I’m tired of the battle started in the 60’s, dividing our own ranks, that created the Either-Or fight for women’s rights. The Stay-at-home vs. the liberated Go-to-work. Why are we dividing our own forces? Everyone knows an army united has the best chance of success in the face of it’s attackers.
If you really take the time to look around there are whole communities of women joining forces, joining power, creating new business models, new ways to solve problems, new ways to bridge gaps. These communities are being created everywhere, and the energy is electrifying!
I feel liberated and powerful because I could choose to stay home with my kids and it was not assumed that it was ‘my place’, a change that came about a mere 15 years after the woman’s movement began. I feel liberated and powerful because I could go back to work, and were I qualified, I could work my way up in corporate America to a position of power. I support my sisters, both at home and at work, by setting an example in other areas of my life besides business, that we are a force to be reckoned with. I challenge the definition of women in their 50’s everyday of my life. And, I am not the only woman doing this. I am one of 1000’s, maybe even millions, or more. We are all fighting the fight, in our own homes, in our own backyards, our churches, schools, AND our workplaces.
Our gift, as women, is our ability to build communities. By recognizing the value and benefits of all aspects of being a woman, embracing them, joining forces, and forging alliances, we can build a network stronger than any army of any country. Because our troops are in every corner, of every country in the world, waiting for the call, ready to stand up and join hands. Let’s combine that sacred energy, changing the world as one.
Because that’s where our power will come from, a united force fighting a united cause.
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