Everything is Different : Coping With Change

I opened my eyes and immediately thought ‘It’s different.  Everything is different.’  It is Christmas morning and there are no kids here.  There is no flutter of excitement in my stomach, no anticipation of youthful exuberance and joy over treasures wished for and received.  No talk of Santa coming...no need to put floured boot prints on the carpet.  One more mile marker honoring the passage of the most golden time of my life.  I can’t help but tear up.  A most precious era has past, never to be experienced again.

I’m OK though.  I saw it coming, new this morning was going to be different.  Although, I have to admit, I didn’t anticipate the tears.  Last night, for the first time ever, we went out to dinner for Christmas eve.  It may start a new tradition.  Who knows?  We went to a fabulous Afghan restaurant with our new family; our son, his delightful girlfriend, her mother and boyfriend.  I was easily transported from the comfy, routine of Christmas Eve’s gone by to a new and equally warm redefinition of Christmas’ to come. ‘This is what holidays will be like from here on in.’ I thought.  Testing new experiences, welcoming new members into our family circle, and being open to all that comes with having grown children.  Change.  It is all about change.

I opened my heart to it knowing it was going to be painful.  I prepared myself as best as I could, with new activities, and plans.  I’ve gone about the preparation of the holiday with eyes wide open, leaving room for all of us to grow into our new lives ahead of us.  Sure, I would love to have them home with me, playing games, eating tons of cookies, gift wrap cluttering up the floor, laughing and teasing, making all the joyous noises that boys, grown to men, can make.  It ends up that much like watching them take their first step and hearing them say their first word, this is just one more cherished memory that will be stored away in my most prized possession, the Precious Family Memories Box.  I can conjure these memories anytime I want, a photo album in my mind, always there to leaf through while sipping a cup of tea on the couch. 

As with all things, it had to change.  They had to move on, create their own lives, their own families, make their own memories.  I will freely let them go as I recognize that this time is hard for them as well.  They feel the shift.  They feel the change, too.  We all are grasping at what we loved so dearly about being ‘us’, our family, our silliness, our comfort in each others company.  We are all struggling to make this transition.  I know that in honoring the change in their new lives, they will always come back, in bit’s and pieces, with girlfriends, wives and hopefully grandchildren, and we will remember the good times of old, while embracing all the new.

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Have you gone through a change in traditions recently?  What did you do to help make the transition easier?  I would love to hear your comments below, and have them to share with my readers.