Step #6 Let Go of Perfection : Good Enough is Good Enough

Preparing for you Town Meeting

Today’s step is really important.  It is where true liberation occurs.  The Town Meeting will take courage and, possibly, a few scripted lines to get you through.  

This part of the process is also, initially, quiet a bit of work.  It may actually feel more stressful than your usual holiday stress BECAUSE you are choosing to change behaviors and habits, yours and those of others.  It is natural for people to dig their heals in, put up a stink, attempt revolt.  A clear well thought out plan, that you are committed to, will save the day. 
You MUST be consistent.  It may feel like you are being silly, selfish, or stubborn.  As long as you remain completely calm but firm, and refrain from trying to prove ‘now you’ll see what it’s like for me’ peace and sanity will prevail. You are setting the stage for the future.  This is your savings account, or insurance policy for simpler holidays.   Keep a positive, jovial attitude even when you are not sure, get confused, or appear to ‘get it wrong’.  Admit that this is new.  Regroup and continue on, with confidence and determination.  

Every hour spent in this part of the process will save 50 hours in the future!

The objective of this step is to:

• Remove stress from your holiday
• State your wishes and needs in a clear voice
• Place no guilt on the people at the Meeting
• Remain calm, and focused.

What you will need:

1 Large (8.5 x 11) calendar of the upcoming weeks to schedule all activities during the Meeting.  Mark your activities on this calendar before you begin the meeting.

1 piece of red paper that says ‘OOPS’ on it in very large letters

A description of any job that has:

• multiple steps, 
• requires several stops at different stores or people’s homes 
• need extra materials that are not readily available to the volunteer
• require excessive time (2 or more hours to complete)
• Materials list/recipe cards

An open mind - This year will be a learning curve.  Things will be a little different because it’s all new AND everyone does things just a little bit differently.  Letting go of the idea that things have to be ‘just so‘ frees up your time, your calendar and removes stress.  Turning things over to others promotes confidence, and a sense of accomplishment and belonging in those that are now participating.

• Remember: It does not have to be perfect (as defined by you) You are looking or help. The jobs will get done, in one form or another, likely not to your specifications. You may not complain, re-do, or take over. You must be willing to accept what is offered. If you can’t accept this truth, you are not ready for this step yet. And, that’s OK. Be honest. 
• It’s better to know now, and prepare for the next holiday, working to move toward a place that you can let go. Should you choose to continue on from here be prepared to frequently remind yourself to accept what is offered.  You are working toward liberation, happiness, and stress free holidays. 

An Ally - It is generally important to have at least 1 ally that supports your objective.   Share your plan, in it’s entirety, with an ally.  Explain that you have too much to do.  It is making your holiday stressful, tiring and unenjoyable.  You need help.  Describe the whole process, including your lists.  Get them on board.  If you have an ally, they will be the keeper of the OOPS card. (purpose to be described tomorrow)

A Strategic Plan - If there is a member of your upcoming Meeting that is easily angered, prone to tantrums, or usually ‘rallies the troops to insight a ‘riot’, meet with them separately, apart from the group gathering. You can include your ally in this meeting, as long as the ‘trouble maker’ will not feel threatened or ganged up on. If you are often overwhelmed by your ‘circle (family/friends) meeting with the ‘trouble maker’ separately circumvents this person from causing an ‘uproar’ or mutiny.  The whole point is to give you every advantage to be successful.

• IMPORTANT NOTE : should mutiny, of any type occur, you need to be prepared be satisfied with a holiday where only the things you have put on your list get done.  EVERYTHING else is abandoned, with no hostile feelings, or ‘ha-ha I’ll get you’ behavior on your part.  

911 Plan - Emergencies are going to come up.  Mistakes may be made.  If someone has genuinely attempted to complete an activity and, for example, something burns because they are not a experienced cook, be prepared to lend a hand, if they want help.  Do NOT take over the activity.  Do not punish them, even with an eye roll, or an ‘I told you so.’  The objective should be to gently help this person learn to do this activity by themselves for the future.  The objective is successful independence for everyone involved.  Hurt feeling and accusation lead to volunteers ‘jumping ship.’

Remember, You are the HOST.  You have called the Town Meeting.  You have (will have) the rules of the meeting.  You have a list of activities you have elected to do.  Do NOT add to this list unless you have help, AND you really want to add this activity to your schedule.

Basic rules and guidelines, including a script for the Town Meeting will be provided tomorrow, in the last of the 7 Steps/Tips