Thank You For Your Opinion, Now Please Be Quiet!

What is it that tells us we can’t? Is it a collection of all the rejections we’ve received in the past?  Or, is it a constant feed loop of all of our own disappointments?  I figure, for most of us, it’s probably a little bit of both. 

But, the more important question is, why do we listen?  Why is the voice that says ‘you’re no good.’,  ‘you can’t do that’, ‘you’re fat, stupid, ugly, dumb, loud....’ Why is that voice the one we listen to?

I know in my whirlwind of a brain there’s always a party going on.  My loudest, most demeaning, insulting of guests is Boss Hogg, a big faced, jowly individual, who somehow always seems to manage to get right up in my face.  He  can always be counted on to point out my short comings in detail, and ad nauseam.  He follows me around, into the kitchen for more refreshments, out onto to porch for a breath of fresh air.  Talking, talking, talking.  I can’t seem to get away from him.  Who invited him, anyway?  

Grandma is always there, in a rocker in the corner, her knitting needles clickity-clacking away.  She has an opinion, too.  But, she’s very sweet and doesn’t want to disturb anyone, so she whispers.  She frequently says ‘You can do anything your heart desires.’ But, her voice is papery thin and quiet, so I really don’t pay attention. 

There are other, rather regular guests.  Some are always welcome.  Others, not so much.  There’s Airy Fairy Fern, who’s very dreamy and thinks anything is possible. Fern likes to float while she talks about dreams coming true.   Her voice fades in and out depending on how close she is to me.  Sometimes, it’s annoying.

Occasionally, Paulina Proud will make an appearance.  Paulina is a bit shy.  She can always be counted on to make a slow, lengthy, well modulated, well thought out comment of great support. But come on, Paula. Speed it up!  I haven’t got all day!   

And last, but certainly not least, there’s Carol Cant, a pinched faced, whiny know-it-all  who blasts her 2 cents, at an ear splitting pitch.  Carols voice is so annoying I want to run away.  But, I can’t.  She’s in my head.

What I want to know is why don’t I make the effort to listen more closely to Grandma when she whispers, for the 1 millionth time, ‘You can do whatever it is your heart desires.‘   Why don’t I stop Airy Fairy, as she sails by like a deranged angel with a magic wand, and really listen to her featherlight voice saying ‘Dreams can come true. Dreams can come true.’  That’s what a good hostess should do.  

For whatever reason, I just don’t listen.  I don’t really try.  I think, upon reflection, much like a tired, overworked kindergarten teacher I’m paying way too much attention to the ‘problem children’ of the class.  Boss Hogg and Carol Cant are making all the noise.  They are demanding all of my attention.  I’m so tired of their noise.  I think ‘Maybe if I listen to them this one last time, they will sit down and be quiet.’  But they don’t.  For I have spoiled them with all my attention.

Enough, I say!  These parties have gotten out of hand.  It’s time to impose some order on these galas in my head.  From here on in Boss Hogg, Carol Cant, and any other visiting Dignitary of Doom, are going to be told ‘Thank you for your opinion.  Now please be quiet.  There are others at this party that have something to say and I really, really want to hear them.’

So let it rip Granny, and Airy Fairy!  After 50 years it’s your turn to shine.  Tell me my dreams can come true.  Tell me I can be anything I want to be.  Because you have center stage now.  I’m ready and I’m listening.