What is That Chatter in My Head?

While walking this morning, mindlessly pondering my contribution to a collaborative book to be released in 2012, I realized there was chatter going on in my head of a negative nature.  I find myself frequently marveling at the collection of contributing women co-authors that surround me and their fascinating life stories of bravery, strength and perseverance. I am so inspired by them, I am frequently left thinking they should be forced to wear Wonder Woman costumes, complete with cape, as their everyday attire.  And, then there is me...My story is sooo boring compared to theirs. At least that is what ‘Nasty Nancy’, who resides in my head, is telling me. ‘Who’s going to want to read your story?’ she whines.  ‘It’s so dull.’  Well, shoot!

Wasn’t it me, just 14 days ago, that wrote a blog about how fabulous women are...and how they don’t respect their own wonderfulness? Didn’t I say that it was unbelievable that these exciting women in my speaking club, who shared their life stories of overcoming addiction, mothering 6 children, starting a new business, and moving to a new country, considered themselves uninteresting, and thought they had nothing of value to share?  Yet, here I was, in my mind, doing the same thing.  Well, shoot...again!

Part of correcting your perceptions of yourself, and the negative chatter that is going on in your head, is being aware of the noise.  Much like a mother immune to the nagging “Mom...Mom...Mom” of her persistent toddler waging a war for a forbidden toy, we get used to the litany of negative messages playing ‘Your not good enough’ in our own head.  It becomes background noise that we turn down, function around, and basically try to ignore.  It is only when we take the time to stop dead in our tracks and really listen to the message (regardless of how often we think we have heard it) that we can acknowledge it for the foolishness that it is.  

So, what did I do?  I took my own advice.  I stopped my walk. listened to the flawed message in my head, and said ‘Thank you for your opinion. BUT, I have to disagree with you.  I have done wonderful and interesting things.  I have a story that women will want to hear, not because I climbed great heights or crossed the desert with no water.  They will want to hear my story because I am a woman. And, women like stories about the lives of other women.  Just like I do.’